D-Day

hmm... abt 60 yrs ago... the Allied forces landed at Normandy to launch their offensive against the German forces to free the rest of the European world... haha... today i hav sorted out all my thoughts... n i realised smthin... its not worth it to hold on too tightly to some stuff... when its time to let go... juz do so... n u will find tt the world is such a better place... some1 once told me tt the most difficult thing for any human to do is to be able to let go of stuff... of course... by lettin go i dun mean givin up... erm... its a very fine line btw the 2... but the end-result is drastically different... hmm... felt tt that was extremely meaningful... somethin tt we all can learn... erm... juz realised tt there's not much of a link btw D-day n wad i hav said... but, who cares???!!! :)
Really want to say a heartfelt thank u for all those who hav posted encouragin comments on my blog... it was really nice readin those... thx a lot!!!

Dao..ed

dotz... if anythin can happen to me... i wld say tt this is goin to be the worst tt can ever happen... till now lah, tt is... my gd fren actually decided to dao + ostro me... gdness... u can imagine how i felt when i heard the news lah... its was like... like... bah... im at a loss of words to describe tt... its not tt im angry wif her or wad... but i truly felt a bit dumped...( not tt i hav nva been dumped b4, haha, but tt's not the pt now )... n u can jolly well imagine wad this kind of things will do to some1 who constantly seeks acceptance by frens... haha... how easy it is for some pple to say tt if they were accepted by God, (well, im a Christian, in case u all dun noe...), they had nth to care abt the rest... tho i know tt's true... but its really easier said than done... if i can use this phrase to describe... haiz... a lesson to be learnt: pls do not ever in ur whole life build ur self-esteem n worth based on other pple's acceptance of u... as i hav done... or else, u will really SUFFER!!! haha... u can count on tt fact, man... sigh...Sigh...SIgh...SIGh...SIGH... but i must thank yw for her encouragement towards me... u really saved me from the verge of gettin really depressed... thx a lot!!!
well... i guess mayb tt's also gd in a sense... mayb its time i moved on... i will continue to support u if u need help... cos i seriously dun want to lose a gd fren... but it really made me very upset to c u cry, u noe... pls dun... treat it as doin me a favour... thx... oh... wad an eventful day!!! :) 

hmm... heard frm a fren today abt some sweet thing tt she did... she took a few bundles of roses... n gave it to all the aunties in her sch... the bkshop auntie, cleanin aunties, even the auntie who sells indian food in her sch... haha... it may sound silly to some pple lah... but i tink i really admire her for always wantin to go tt extra mile to brighten up someone's day... n this person could be someone whom we hav neglected... hx... jia you!!!
suddenly tinkin abt my relationship life... hmm... actually... i dun hav any gd experience wif relationships... all 3 i ever had so far ended very wierdly... the latest one this yr is still unsettled... tot i could get over it... cos it was really screwin up my life... but recently... i realized tt i juz can't seem to get over it... really... esp after the june hols... when i went back to sch... i felt tt i really missed her a lot... sigh... so all along i hav been cheatin myself... n zj said it rite... im really regrettin it now... but wad's the use???... it cannot salvage anything, can it???... plus the distance btw us seems to be increasin... used to be able to share wif her damn lot of stuff... but now... we can hardly tolk... sigh... mayb leave it all to fate...

celebrated my sis's bdae today... haha... she's 1 yr older... hope tt she will also become more n more mature... birthdays always make me tink abt life... haha... age is one thing tt can only be added, n nva subtracted... a lot of pple hav asked me abt wad is the true meanin of life... actually... I feel tt in life... if u hav made an impact, positive one lah, of course, on some1's life... I would say tt u hav not lived ur life in vain... tt's y i always tell myself... nva stop helpin others, nva stop wantin to listen to others... tt's wad i call my commitment... but ive recently realised tt i really dun hav the strength for tt... there r juz too many things, too many probs... n u simply cannot tackle them at one go... n i hav my own probs as well... i hav gotten depressed over all these probs which r not mine actually... but it juz kinda saddens me a lot when i c tt my frens hav no directions in life, or wadever probs tt they may hav... do u noe wad kind of feelin it is when u c ur fren havin a problem, but u cannot do anything to solve it??? it makes u feel really useless...
hmm... i hav a simple philosophy abt human to human relationships... which i call my "atom philosophy"... got the inspiration when i was studyin the atomic structure topic... haha... it juz goes like this: humans r like atoms, n we all hav our own privacy space, which can be represented by the nucleus of the atom... now, when 2 pple interact, its like the 2 atoms comin together to form a compound in a reaction... but notice tt the overlappin of orbitals does not involve overlappin of the nucleus... similarly, pple will nva open up their private space too easily... cos its juz simply literally "private"... mayb i hav tried to probe into some pple's private spaces... den im beginnin to feel a bit of repulsion... haha... but how does it feel to only crap arnd wif others... makin stupid jokes, laugh at each other... when after a few yrs... u find tt u actually dun really noe tt person very well... haha... tt's y i look for real interaction wif pple... n not juz crappin arnd... i want to know wad pple r tinkin, how do they feel abt something n such... tt's real interaction... sigh...

Friday, 23rd July

Hav u ever seen ur whole world crashin down on u??? its a terrible feelin when u suddenly realise tt there is smthin terribly wrong wif ur world... but there is nth much u can do rite??? u walk to the class... hang arnd... and in the past, u could always juz fit into any single grp and juz go crappin along... lalala... but now... i move to this grp... oh no... nth to say... move on to the nxt... same situation... smtimes u juz cant help but ask urself if u r really tt detestable... or mayb im too extreme lah... but tt's really wad i tink... strange... pple always say tt i m very different frm wad i look... haha... they r partly rite... but who really noes n can understand the truth behind all these crappiness???... if i tell u tt i am really damn damn troubled... i tink no one will believe me... well... mayb got some lah... oh... n some pple say i can be insulted w/o tt person feelin guilty... well... can go ahead n shoot me lor... it doesn't really matter to me liao... i will juz treat it as some... wadever...
to whoever is readin this... dun tink tt im a weirdo... cos im not... mayb its only in this online blog tt u can c my other side... n since this is my 1st blog entry... want to say tt i dun mean to offend anyone with my entries... if i ever do... pls forgive me... well... u do hav to sound diplomatic, dun u??? :)