Screwed up... oh no...

ok... im so totally screwed up now... a lot of stuff to settle... n the FE tml... sigh... tonite is burned out... so is tml... n so is sunday... cos got covenant grp n got duty... n all i hav left is monday... during which im supposed to complete all the tutorials tt i hav left undone during SYF period... plus the material for this sunday... i havent even started readin it yet!!!... n to tink tt i actually set out to do my maths tutorial tonite... but i guess its all naught now... argh!!!... some1 pls help me... giv me some time... :(
hmm... had our class item practice today... well... still not really there yet... but there's a bit of improvement... so 73.2... lets jia you!!!... after pract... soon kueh, erene n i went to j8 swenson's to eat ice-cream... haha... n we ordered the topless 5... haha... n it was a bit erm... chocolatey... cos a few of the ice-creams were chocolate... haha... but it was nice... quite worth the money... :)... den we spent some time chattin abt air-lines... air stewardesses... haha... n of course... prom nite!!! contemplated rentin a hotel rm tt nite... but not really tt feasible... cos not many gals will stay as we speculate n the guys will flood the guy's rm... pay so much to slp on carpet floor not very nice eh... haha... but anyway... tt's goin to be some time later... so wun bother abt tt yet... :)

Accomplished!!!

3 cheers n 3 cheers n 3 cheers for guitar!!! we finally accomplished wad we tot was impossible a few mnths back... juz den... we tot tt all was gone... haha... but today... we got a GOLD medal... and we hav proven to others n ourselves tt we can accomplish it if we hav the determination... so proud of every single member of the SYF team... we hav written an unfogettable experience for ourselves tt makes the award pale in comparison... :)... this is an experience which i will cherish forever... n im glad to be part of this experience... hahaha... n of course... not to forget our photo-takin sessions... where i acted cute... literally... haha... but nvm... i was too happy to care abt my image... hahaha...
dinner time... 04S73 pple left to go eat at marche... well... at first we spent some time tryin to decide where to go... den finally ended up at marche... spent some time there tolkin crap... n chattin abt various characters... n xavier is officially the "ba kua" king... cos he seems to noe everythin neh... hahahaha... den strolled to the sky garden... which we found was an excellent place for PDA... haha... cos its so quiet n dark... n we juz sat arnd there being big lightbulbs cos there were so many couples there... played some guitar... sang some songs... b4 movin off for home...
ok... here's the part where im so damn totally pissed abt... erene, soon kueh n i went off to take a cab... waited for half an hr w/o a single cab stoppin despite us changing locations 3 times... all the big hoo-ha abt taxi drivers not being able to fetch enuf business is all... pardon me for sayin this... but bullshit!!!... there was this particular taxi driver who circled the area like so many times but refused to fetch us... well... tho i dun read econs... i noe tt this is a serious n silly waste of petrol... in the end... we got so fed up tt we took public transport home... :(... mayb the taxi companies can take note of this n stop the taxi drivers frm makin such moanings abt their lack of businesses when there is an abundance of potential passengers out there...

The Last Lap...

had our final round of formal practice today... i m totally astounded by the progress we had made in 2 nites... the whole ensemble really played much much better than we had ever b4... gd job every1!!! guitar rox!!!... n i noe we will definitely shine tml at SCH... n the cheer we did at the end of pract today... it brought the morale to an all-time high... nva once had i tot tt we cld actually do so well... n as zc said... it will very soon turn into a memory... a memory of the tough times we had... when many pple tot of givin up... our happy times tgt... our mutual encouragements when we got distressed... the times which we spent playin serenade n toccata followed by serenade n toccata followed by serenade n toccata non-stop... n now... its all abt to come to an end... but i noe we will end off wif pride... cos no matter wad... we hav accomplished a feat!!! :)

Absolutely captivating...

he stepped into the classrm... we cld not stop gigglin... well... a bunch of mischievous students up to nth gd... tt is... after givin a wishy-washy greetin, he starts to want to turn on the OHP... only to find tt the main switch has been switched off... *this he dint noe until ltr*... wif a single sentence, "hey, this is complicated neh"... sent the whole of 04S73 phy students into a bout of unstoppable laughter... such is our phy tutor... formally known as Mr Wong, but otherwise abbreviated as "donald duck"... or juz by his trademarks "neh neh neh"... n of course... his one-size-fits-all theory of "upthrust neh"... it still remains a big mystery to me how we actually managed to understand wad he was tolkin abt when the entire lecture hall was dumbfounded by the peculiar way he speaks... :)... well... its smth else tt we will rmb all the yrs to come...
had another round of intense guitar drillin today... well... not really intense for me... cos i arrived at 5.30pm n played for only like 2 hrs... today's performance was definitely better than the previous... n we trashed out more things to take note of durin sectionals... im not sure if it is becos my expectations r low r wad... but in the midst of other pple tinkin tt we still r not gd enuf... i choose to c otherwise... pple lookin frm the goal will say tt we r still short of the target... but pple lookin at the startin pt will say tt we hav alr completed a large part of the race... mayb every1 ought to be a little bit more optimistic... optimism goes wif team morale... instead of havin the "i resign to fate..." attitude... mayb we can try havin the "we shall succeed!!!" attitude... wif high morale, n wif risin to the occasion... every1 will put their very best into it... n we shall write a glorious page for ourselves... :) jia you!!!

Bonding tgt...

hmm... 3 more days left b4 our SYF competition... n we had 4 long hrs of gruellin practice today... it was almost back to the basics... where we trashed out all the details tt we hav overlooked in the past few mnths of practice... sounds dumb... but it does make a lot of difference when u start to pay attention to the details... as well as how the different sections piece tgt their seemingly dull notes into wonderful music... the standard has improved overall... i must say... n im glad to c tt... :)... but must giv a lot of thx to jeffrey... he displayed a lot of initiative today in sectional practice... not only did he point out some overlooked details n mistakes... he also encouraged the team to press on forward... n focus... haha... gd job... n im glad to c such members in the club... haha... :)... lets keep our faith n work towards our goal!!!

Journey's end???

hmm... time really flew... n now its almost mid-yr liao... steppin down frm guitar exco soon... n there is only abt 6 mnths left to A levels n 7 mnths left wif 04S73... somehow i feel tt i've experienced much much more in JC life than i had ever experienced b4... some experiences hav made me stronger, others hav tore me down... but its always a blessing when at the moment u were down n out, there is always at least some1 there to bring u back, to giv u tt encouragement tt u nd... n im glad tt my prob is solved... thx to gl... i guess she's rite... i really shldn't fret too much over havin nth to say wif gd frens... juz say wadever u hav to say... n the silent company of gd frens smtimes beats havin words exchanged btw them... the times when we all juz share one common MP3 player n listen to ur fav songs... when we juz do nth on wed breaks but strum our guitars n tolk cock... all these r activities which i will always treasure in the yrs to come... i noe tt this will surely not be the end of our journey... but we will still continue writin our own stories wif a common chapter for every1... im glad to hav crossed ur path... :)
haha... had NAPFA today... got a silver, becos of my sit-n-reach... ba... tt's juz so dumb... but nvm... pass ok liao... :)... but i had some of my personal bests this yr... n im glad tt i can achieve those in my last NAPFA in schoolin life...

Cauldron of feelings...

ok... here's a whole mixture of how im feelin now... tired (after comin home at 8 plus n havin to do phy capacitance tut...)... silly (not interested in divulgin y... no one will understand it anyway...)... disappointed... ba... how come its all so negative???.... but den... i juz cant help it... i simply m a silly little idiot who is screwin up his life again, under the justification tt its a natural reaction to being hurt, which is so totally crap... cos i tink i hurt others more than others hurt me... history repeats itself... n tt is so ultra true... pls... dun let me sink into it again... :( ... i bet u dun noe wad u r doin... mayb i really shld giv up soon... argh...

Bleak???

sigh... the path ahead seems bleak again... the sunlight tt once shown down on our path ahead has now been shrouded again... SYF... concert... sigh... juz hope tt things will turn out fine on the big days... guessed every1's stressed... but its a process where we all learn tgt... haha... so mayb tink of it on the positive side... every1... jiayou!!!... :)

Demand??? Request???

was juz ponderin on this issue... is it wrong for a fren to expect tt his other frens care for him???... when u r sick n tired... naturally u will hope for some1 to come along n pat u on the back sayin "hey, pal! u ok or not???"... but wad happens when u start to realise tt after all, some of ur frens apparently dun care abt u tt much as u wld hope they wld... den in tt case... is it wrong for u to feel upset???... of course... there's nth wrong in feelin upset... but wad might be wrong is tt u will start to drift away frm tt fren... really... cos u will start to ask urself whether u really matter to tt fren of urs or not... n i tink there's a high chance tt u will tink negatively... tt's wad makes this issue so pressin for me... its not tt im dying for ur attention... but its juz tt frens also nd the assurance tt u care for each other... u might tink tt... "come on lah... gd frens can leave things unspoken rite???"... but i seriously beg to differ... true... some things can be left unspoken... but den... how much energy does sayin a caring sentence cost u???... its amazing how smtimes pple can spend so much energy shooting each other down... n how they r so stingy on tt energy to care for pple... u claim tt every1 cares for every1 else differently... granted... but the thing is... i seriously dun feel anything... really... mayb the reason y im so troubled abt this is becos its my gd frens ba... *not all tho... juz in case u all suspect urself*... haha... but of course... i treat this as a time of self-reflection as well... after all... if i dun do tt unto u... i cant possibly expect u to do tt unto me... :)
P.S: every1 pls dun feel offended by anythin tt i said in this entry... thx... juz wanted to let all out there noe abt wad i tink... :)

Joy... Passion...

it all started wif a simple qn... "y do u want to be wad u want to be nxt time???"... for those who dun noe as yet... i hope to enter the medical profession... or juz anythin related to bio ba... tt's if i really cannot enter into medicine... hmm... but recently tt vision has kinda shaken a bit... i started askin myself y i really want to go in... money??? fame??? passion???... n after i hav answered all those... the last thing to ask is wad qualities do i hav tt can allow me to perform well in such a profession???... hmm... personally... i dun tink im a really caring person... i might hav motives for carin for pple... i dun noe... *how many pple actually hav such negative views abt themselves???... :)*... passion.... hmm... ok... i tink i hav tt... but after all... my true forte might be juz the person who sits down n drafts all the theory... since tt's all i was ever gd at... but if tt's the case... i tink its kinda sad iseneh???.... mayb i shld seriously rethink wad path i want to take... but it will be quite terrible if at the end i realise tt wad i hav believed in all along might be juz a false facade... :(
hmm... i realised tt pple smtimes shldn't be left alone... cos when pple r left alone... its the time when the brain starts to try to process some stuff tt has been botherin this person... i did... the introvert side of me acted up today... i purposely walked a longer way home so tt i cld start to tink abt some stuff... smth which i used to love to do long ago... but not now... n despite me tryin to be as optimistic as possible... *frankly... i dun tink im optimistic at all... im more of a pessimistic person... im optimistic only when i c some1 even more pessimistic than i m, cos the result of 2 pessimistic pple tgt is totally negative views, n i dun want tt*... some things i juz cannot stop tinkin abt it... n the more i tink... the more dejected n pissed i get... :(... mayb all i nd is something to keep me so busy tt i cant tink abt those stuff at all... if sounds optimistic enuf... :)

Disappointed...

the 2nd wave of setbacks arrived... i flunked my GP compre... its rather devastating, considerin the fact tt i tot i did well for my compre paper... i almost cldn't believe it when i got back my paper... if tt is the case... n i seriously dun c any hope for my GP essay... which was totally rotten... hence i can almost safely say tt my GP is considered fail... ok... so my BT1 results will be tt i flunked 2 subj... another demoralizer... :(... the only thing tt still gives me a glimmer of hope is my bio results... but if tt is also lousy... i will declare tt i hav totally lost my campaign against the 5 subj in BT1...

Pissed...

argh!!!... the NS server had to come up wif some silly prob n screw up... die... tt means wad i hav been doin for the last hr might hav been useless!!!... :(
today was quite unlucky for the entire class... pon council elections... den kena caught... n hav to do CS... task is to change the labels on the class benches n clean up the wings area... sigh... deadline is nxt fri... bo bian... haha... :)... ok... im dead dead tired liao... goin off... :)

Hope???

haha... its been quite a erm... not really pleasant day for me... cos i got daoed by so many pple... ba... nvm... mayb my face makes them not feel like wantin to say hi to me... seriously... i hav a strange reflex mechanism inbuilt in me... if pple dao me... i will jolly well dao them as well... n for as long as i feel comfortable wif... i call it the "heck-care mechanism"... n i juz read tt another person is goin to giv up tryin to bridge gaps btw pple... which is sad... sigh... must pple really be so segregated???... i once told myself im not goin to bother abt this issue anymore... but den once again... it juz comes back... :(
ok... enuf abt all the lamentin liao... move on to more positive stuff... haha... finally launched our concert advertisement this morn... well... hope the effect was still ok... but i hav to apologise to wilbur... cos i tink i sounded a bit harsh in the morn... cos the banner wasn't up yet... n time was runnin short... so mayb i sounded a bit harsh... haha... but thx to erene, soon kueh, low n geoffrey for helpin to put up the banner... it was a gd job done, every1... lets hope tt the concert will be a success!!!... haha... n the j1s today... well... i must say tt they made gd improvements... n its really comfortin to c them improve... esp after u hav put in so much effort... gd job!!!... hope the concert will be a memorable one for all of u... :) n oh yes!!! had a real time playin wif the 800 bucks Spainish-imported guitar... haha... its a real gd one... makes me feel like kopin one home... haha... :)...

Tired...

sigh... my eyes r abt to close now... realised tt the few nites of late slp over the few wks has really taken its toll on me... i start to feel tired even b4 10pm... which is like totally unheard of b4... pple say tt u shld get abundant slp... well... yes... i totally agree wif tt... mayb tt was the reason y i start to feel tt my learnin capability is on the downhill... sigh... :(...

Tong Hua...

haha... im glad to say tt i hav learnt the song n chords for tong hua by guang liang in one nite... haha... except tt i lack a capo now... so the song sounds a bit flat... but nvm... the song is really touchin... pple shld go n c the song... :)... n when i played it... ks said tt i was her idol for 2 min... haha... thx a lot arh...