Joy... Passion...

it all started wif a simple qn... "y do u want to be wad u want to be nxt time???"... for those who dun noe as yet... i hope to enter the medical profession... or juz anythin related to bio ba... tt's if i really cannot enter into medicine... hmm... but recently tt vision has kinda shaken a bit... i started askin myself y i really want to go in... money??? fame??? passion???... n after i hav answered all those... the last thing to ask is wad qualities do i hav tt can allow me to perform well in such a profession???... hmm... personally... i dun tink im a really caring person... i might hav motives for carin for pple... i dun noe... *how many pple actually hav such negative views abt themselves???... :)*... passion.... hmm... ok... i tink i hav tt... but after all... my true forte might be juz the person who sits down n drafts all the theory... since tt's all i was ever gd at... but if tt's the case... i tink its kinda sad iseneh???.... mayb i shld seriously rethink wad path i want to take... but it will be quite terrible if at the end i realise tt wad i hav believed in all along might be juz a false facade... :(
hmm... i realised tt pple smtimes shldn't be left alone... cos when pple r left alone... its the time when the brain starts to try to process some stuff tt has been botherin this person... i did... the introvert side of me acted up today... i purposely walked a longer way home so tt i cld start to tink abt some stuff... smth which i used to love to do long ago... but not now... n despite me tryin to be as optimistic as possible... *frankly... i dun tink im optimistic at all... im more of a pessimistic person... im optimistic only when i c some1 even more pessimistic than i m, cos the result of 2 pessimistic pple tgt is totally negative views, n i dun want tt*... some things i juz cannot stop tinkin abt it... n the more i tink... the more dejected n pissed i get... :(... mayb all i nd is something to keep me so busy tt i cant tink abt those stuff at all... if sounds optimistic enuf... :)