Vexed...

hmm... mayb its the humid weather ba... but it hasnt been a gd day for me at all... except for the fact tt there was no chem S... which meant tt i reached home at like 4 plus... smth quite unheard of for quite some time... :)... got back maths... ok... its quite gd lah... but somehow i was a bit disappointed... n i scored only 1 mark for P & C... wow!!!... tt means tt there's some buckin up to do... sigh... i really regret ponnin tt lecture... now im payin the price for it... den durin GP got niaoed... for being unable to answer qn... fine... i guess i hav been seriously blackmarked... n if i say i dun care... im bluffin u... come on lah... who likes to be blackmarked???... sigh... to add on to tt is the fact tt pressure is startin to build up... frm pple, frm within myself... where is all the determination tt i once saw myself exhibiting???... its all gone now... n im juz reduced to some1 who apparently has a not-to-be-bothered attitude... strange... i seem to hav gone thru even more this past 2 yrs than i hav ever b4... its been a huge roller coaster ride... :(...
received my NS medical check-up/registration letter yday... ok... im goin to go back to the time when i was shaved botak by the boardin sch barber for a fee of 5 bucks... in abt a few mnths time... den mayb pple will exclaim:" CS, is tt u???!!!"... ok... i juz hope pple can rmb me as some1 who has crossed their lives n made an impact b4... n for me... tt's more than enuf... yup... :)

Upon The Tree-top...

7 adventurous pple decided to do smth more unique rather than watch movies afterblk test... they decided to set out to conquer the heights... at the HSBC Tree-top trail in Macritchie Reservoir... wif a total distance of more than 9km... the 7 pple r: mz, yw, soon kueh, xav, low, set n of course... myself... :)
after finishin SPA Skill A Physics... which totally sucked cos i realised tt my experiment cant work at all... but nvm... we waited at the canteen for abt more than 30 min for Datuk Set... who went back to the hostel to change n to bring his stuff... very long... haha... while the rest of us crapped abt a lot of stuff at the canteen... after set arrived... we set off to soon kueh's hse at Macritchie... tt was our refill stop... n immediately after tt... we set out on our quest... wif very wonderful imaginations n expectations of the trail... decided to take the longer trail... abt 10km in total... haha... low made a bit of noise... but the rest of us were apparently more enthu abt it... n we started our hike at the 0km mark... hiked for abt 1 hr plus... walkin thru the forest trail... which was not very easy to walk wif its uphills n downhills... n muddy regions... n soon kueh encountered some spider webs... haha... prob becos he was wearin red n blue (tink spiderman... hehe... :) )... but we did hav a gd time talkin n chattin... well... as yw said... this is great time for interaction... after a long long long hike... we finally arrived at our destination... the tree-top bridge... which was only 250m long... n only one-man-wide... meaning: u cannot backtrack... after much photograph takin... we started to cross the bridge... n cheeky pple started to make the bridge perform torsional oscillations n scare the daylights out of me... notable culprits: xav, yw, alvin low... thx pple, for the scare... along the bridge, there were a few spots where u were supposed to c some trees or birds... we saw the trees, but not the birds... n we realised tt the bridge was actually really suspended by 2 thick cables... haha... even had an OREO break in the middle of the bridge... which obviously i wasn't really interested in takin... cos i was really quite scared of suspension bridges at tt height... sigh... the height phobia... :(
after crossin the bridge... we started on this journey of endless flights of steps... up, down, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, down, down, down, down, down, down, down... endless upon endless steps... all in all we climbed N steps, where N is a huge number which I simply cannot count... saw a millipede... n low went to disturb it wif a stick to c if it can roll up... haha... so we asked him:" How wld it feel if some1 took a 2m pole n start to attack ur legs???" haha... cos tt was wad he was doin to the millipede... the millipede's legs were movin like waves... quite a nice sight... :)... after managin to hike back to the ranger station... we cut out thru SICC... cos we cldn't bear the idea of havin to jike another 4 plus km back to macritchie... along the way, we were discussin abt country club membership... haha... finally managed to find our way to Thomson plaza... where we had a gd break at the food court... haha... n we discussed abt our possible chalet in May... haha... but i guess tt one we will hav to put it to the class vote... :)... its indeed a happening day for me today... haha... n i really enjoyed the hike!!! S73ians... if u want to c photos... can try lookin at soon kueh's blog... we shot a number of photos wif his cam!!! :)

Relieved...

finally... the period of intense muggin for BT1 has drawn to an end... its goin to be time to face the music soon... but nvm tt... things will go their way when i come to it... :)
shall blog abt sunday first... wow... finally the fellowship event is over... n it was a success... altho erm... the crowd number was a little lower than expected... but at least everythin was smooth... feedback frm some pple were like... its interestin... but somehow the aim may not hav been reached... hmm... mayb i got so lost in planning the activities tt i forgot abt the main aim of the activities... haha... but a sore throat definitely followed... luckily i prevented it frm gettin worse... :)... must say a big thx to all who made it a success!!! jia you for the upcomin events...
ok... bio blk test today... haha... dint finish the paper... but somehow tt doesn't really bother me... haha... my sense of relieve if far greater than my sense of insecurity for not finishin the paper... after tt... me, mz, alvin low, soon, xav n yw went ajisen ramen at PS to eat lunch... haha... n soon was obviously unhappy abt his "volcano ramen"... which was supposed to hav 4 chilli signs on the menu... meaning very spicy... but it turned out erm... salty???... haha... low said tt my miso cha siu ramen was salty... haha... well... tt goes to show tt i nva really taste my food... cos i dint feel tt at all... den there was the round of soup-exchange... haha... every1 started to kope soup... haha... oh... n not to forget our dear side dishes: silverfish, prawn dumplings, prawn mayonnaise, spicy sea whelks and teriyaki... haha... they came in such small servings tt all of us only managed to eat very little per dish... reminds me of JTS... haha... nvm... n of course... the ice-green tea... must apologise to the rest of the grp... cos i initiated wantin ice-green tea... n the whole grp followed suit... n the green tea tastes like seaweed juice (if u can squeeze out juice frm seaweed)... n soon kueh kao beied the waitress for forgettin our "refill" order... haha... we cant stop laughin... oh yes... n we r plannin to go hike the nature trail at macritchie reservoir tml... haha... at least a 3.5hr hike... wah... exciting... but im jus scared my fear of heights will start to act up again... nvm... shall conquer the phobia!!!... :)

y m i juz so damn stupid???!!! :(

Again...

as expected... mental block happened today AGAIN!!! at the dear cost of like dun noe how many marks of my phy paper... sigh... y cant i juz calm down???... ba... nvm... shall not dwell upon it again... will be forward lookin n bia for bio paper... sigh... :(
ok... i was damn damn infuriated today... went to orchard OG shoppin centre to meet my mum to get a gift for my dad... n the crowd was huge!!! n i really felt out of place standin there... wif all the ladies rushin by past me to grab anythin they can lay their hands on... cos its a 20% + 10% sale... *oh yes... i learnt smth today... 20% + 10% discount is NOT equal to 30%... no wonder they separate the two percentages*... but the most infuriatin was durin the queuin up to pay money at the cashier... n i queued for like 1 hr 30 min!!! the cashier takes like abt 5 min to serve a SINGLE customer... 3 pple... but such slow efficiency... n a lady in the queue was alr complainin.. n boy... her voice was loud lah.... haha... i was really really pissed off... n they simply dint hav the sense to go n open another cashier...
does true frenship really exist???... does frenship last forever???... is "forever frens" really true???... wad happens when ur frens all start to leave u alone to attend to other pple whom they feel is more close to them???... pts to ponder... haha... :)

Burned...

sigh... had chem paper today... n my mental block had to work up juz at the very last n most crucial part of the paper... n as i expected... rudy lee gave the toughest qn in the whole paper... n i cant do it... haha... tml will be another excruciatin time... phy paper... confidence level is very low... based on past experience... i will start blankin out frm mcq onwards... will pray hard n try hard to not allow history to repeat itself... :)

Downhill...

its strange... i hav this silly feelin tt i've unknowingly pissed some pple off... i dun noe y... but some pple apparently hav distanced away... now the pple whom i can talk wif is gettin fewer and fewer... n this is not a gd sign... sigh... :(
maths today... still ok... at least i dint feel as depressed as yday... n its chem tml... argh!!!... i really hate exams... exams r always an interest-killer... it depresses pple... makes learnin become "study for exams"... wadever is out of syllabus... dun nd to noe... n slowly generates a pool of pple who r only competent in acein exams... but fail terribly in other aspects of life... pple say tt students now r juz exam machines... well... the root of the prob is the exams...
its truly heartwarmin to receive encouragement msgs frm pple... n thx to all who did so in one way or another... my encouragement goes out to you all as well... all the best for everythin!!! :)

Pissed... Hyper pissed...

FINE!!! FINE!!! FINE!!! u tink its very funny arh??? impersonating me on my tagboard... come on lah... its not really tt funny... u can tag all kinds of weird stuff... impersonate anyone... except me!!!... seriously... this is getting really confusing... i c my name appearing like dunnoe how many times... n the comments are erm... ok... so pls... if u really intend to continue this joke wif me... u can juz assume another identity n tag all u want... thx for co-operating... :) whoever u r...
ok... first day of battle... GP... (blk tests)... n here is the casualty report:
1) Defeats: both battles... both papers r like so screwed... i started off my compo wif the wrong qn n the wrong stand to adopt... until at the end... i can feel like tearin up my entire piece of work cos the arguments is so fragile... 2nd paper was still slightly better... but equally screwed... ba... nvm...
2) Victories: well... if i lost both... no victory to speak abt... :(
3) Recruitment: a slight bit of morale boost after 4 hrs of intensive maths wif minz... we did frm the student lounge all the way to the garden near my house... wahahahaha... tt's the only bit of consolation i can claim for the day...
end of battle report... movin on to other stuff... *pls bear wif me... i noe this will be my last entry for the comin 2 wks*... read ks's blog... everlasting love... haha... frankly speaking... it doesn't really exist btw humans lah... cos who can live forever rite???... haha... but the issue is tt pple tend to forget their promises very very often... i've seen enuf cases of tt... but den... i really hope n wish to tink tt it exists... :)... we shall wait for someone to prove me wrong...

Brainy stuff...

hmm... went to rjc for this brain awareness talk today... learnt quite some new stuff frm it... haha... all abt neurology... mayb jas wld hav been interested... hmm... mayb i might consider enterin this field... who knows... haha... :)
to all those who r presently feeling stressed or upset abt stuff... cheer up... always look for the silver lining behind the cloud... n nth is too great for u to bear... i juz hope tt u can walk out of this n lead a better life... haha... jia you!!! :)

Mask...

ok.. some1 comes along... n tears down the stupid mask u hav been hidin behind for so long... when u put tt on... u r one nice little angel who apparently cares so damn lot abt frens... always reachin out to pple... tryin to be "helpful" wif pple... deep down... u r juz some1 who wants to earn favour wif every1... u want to hear other pple say:" wow!!! u r really a nice n helpful n wadever"... tho u r almost destined to fail tt... any1 will... u demonstrate favouritism... apparently... u care more abt some pple den u do for others... u claim to do things wif their interests at heart... but den... all u r actually doin is to abuse ur own authority to further ur own interests... at the same time ruthlessly torturin others both mentally n physically n emotionally... if there was ever a tyrant on earth... the biggest one wld be u... i juz cant believe it... who gav u the right to comment abt others when obviously... u cant even meet ur own mark???... u claim tt u feel left out by others... fine... granted... but den... juz tink abt how many times u hav rejected pple when they hav come to u???... again... another act of favouritism... u do unto others wad u wld hav them do unto u... haha... tink u deserved it...
P.S: jus a disclaimer... this entry does not target anybody... so pls dun take it upon urself... thx a lot...

Smile...

tolkin to ks abt some stuff now... sigh... every1 is havin probs... but i came up wif this sentence... "the best smile comes after the biggest tears..." i guess its true... a smile tt emerges frm the depths of sadness is the most radiant... n it represents hope n courage to move on... haha... turnin philosophical again... :)

Sincerity???

how do u measure sincerity in pple???... does sincerity always contradict wif being "diplomatic"???... i dun tink so... sincerity cannot be measured juz becos some1 always reflects to u the truth... n if some1 else doesn't do tt, he/she is not sincere... erm... wad i mean is tt pple hav to take into account the differin personalities of others... some pple can juz tell u the blunt truth straight in ur face... but some pple r more tactful... b4 they tell u the truth immediately... they will want to consider ur feelings upon hearin it... after all... not every1 can take the truth at blank-point... so they will try to package it in such a way tt it might appear as "hypocritical"... but the underlyin intention is gd... when some1 is unsincere... the only thing tt he/she does is to backstab... now tt's true hypocrisy... so i guess its not really tt fair if u base ur judgements on pple who r sincere frens jus becos they dun want to tell u the blunt truth for fear of hurtin u... i try my best to be sincere to all my frens... but i hope tt u can also giv me a chance to be a sincere fren to u... i used to ask this qn... when u claim tt u cannot find a gd fren... there r 2 reasons for it... either there's really NO gd person in this world (which i tink n hope is not the case...) or the thing is tt u hav sealed up ur own door... mayb its time u re-open it???... :)

JTS...

haha... must say a big thank u to the juniors for the treat today at Sizzler's... well... i certainly had a hard time tryin to help u all save money... but den the things there all so ex... so no choice lah... haha... imagine this... 6 guys squeezin at one small table meant for 4... n we divided up our portions of the main course for every1 such tt we can all finish our main course in 6 mouthfuls... so "fast" sia... justin, mz, xavier, me, jian kai n james... haha... but one bad thing is tt the tables aren't connected... so we dint really had much time to interact wif pple not in our table... n this time the gals occupied the long table... haha... while the guys r sadly displaced to one corner... but its ok... we guys had a nice time as well... haha... n justin apparently dint manage to handle the ice-cream machine too well... he spilled quite some ice-cream... haha... which was actually more ice than ice-cream... actually planned to eat quite a lot one... but my stomach dint work well today... got full very easily... :)...
after the treat... went to tour the UK education fair... but the crowd at the IT fair was huge!!! there was a serious human traffic jam all the way... n we had no choice but to squeeze ourselves thru there... haha... but i went to the fair juz for fun n to know a bit more lah... frankly... i tink im quite set on studyin in local uni... haha... n ks n minz hav a serious opinion towards me enterin medicine n becomin a gynaecologist... haha... i've juz considered tt only lah... not confirmed... so pls dun get so worried yet... anyway... low, jas, mz n me left early... n we had to squeeze out of the convention centre... haha... so had a fun time squeezin here n there... :)
its only now tt im reminded of God's grace to me in givin me a gd family... jus heard tt some1 had a family quarrel... quite serious... n i juz suddenly realised tt love is indeed very very impt to sustain a family... a family without love is juz a handful of loose sand... juz hope tt all will go well... any prob can juz come n talk to me... its time i started my work on helpin pple once again... n mayb tt's a way to make me forget abt my own probs... so y not??? :)

Forever...

hmm... my mum juz told me a notable quote... "every1 follows u thru 1 lifetime, but siblings follow u thru 2..."... i find it really true... ur gd frens or whoever, even ur parents, only will be wif u thru "1 lifetime"-- either when u r growin up or when u hav have grown up all the way till u die... but only ur siblings will follow u thruout ur entire life... so cherish them... cos so many a times we always take them for granted... i must say tt i admit tt i havent been a really gd brother all this while... haha... *confession time*... n i've juz quarrelled wif my bro over some stuff... n my mouth hasnt been really tt pleasant after all... spite n venom keeps comin out of it... tt i cant even imagine tt's me... sigh... plus a bit of discouragement after readin some stuff... cos it was absolutely pessimistic... i wont hesitate to say tt... n it kinda had me involved in it... ok... i admit tt it was my fault... i dun blame u for being mad... but i had other reasons to attend to as well... ba... nvm...
realised it to be quite hard to tolk to some pple now... (the same issue arises over n over again)... i try myself not to start my "immune response"... n tt is to juz simply dao pple all the way straight... which i noe i might if i dun make a conscientious effort not to do it... after all... u wunt feel so bad not tolkin to other pple when u r the one who's initiatin it... n u dun feel left out... but then... tt obviously isn't the right attitude towards the issue... i really dun want to fall into tt horrible vicious cycle again... it has been painful enuf for me... n i really dun want history to repeat itself... treat it as if im over-sensitive... i dun mind... juz hope tt wad im tinkin of can be known... some pple can treat it as nothin wrong, but i cant, ok???... screwed up... :(

wahahahahaha... had a whole roller coaster ride of emotions today... started off wif absolute tiredness... rattled on to slightly better mood when mz, jas, low n i were discussin on who shld go for the tekong trip... haha... mood reached its peak at phy practical... gdness... if heng cheng can work in a circus... i noe he will sure earn big money... cos he's absolutely funny... kang yee agreed wif me on this durin guitar pract today... haha... wad went on was tt there were a few other students joinin us for phy pract... n poor heng cheng had to entertain both sides... final result: tutorial not gone thru... plus non-stop laughter frm 04S73... the notorious crazy class... haha... but there's absolutely no way u can resist laughin at him... haha... :)... almost had stomach ache cos of all the laughin... sigh... bio lect was really boring... i really fell asleep durin the lecture... die... big sin committed... haha... den durin maths tut... beng beng juz gave us one qn... n low, jas n i solved it... haha... den beng beng said tt low can go... cos he finish liao... but he simply refused to... wahahaha!!!... :)... den got daoed by some pple after class dismissed... well... nvm abt tt lah... pple hav the right to hav AP... i also hav it too wad... haha...
sterling lect for chem... haha... well... the topic is interestin lah... but the speaker was rather distractin tho... kept swayin here n there... plus i realised tt he held the mic damn tightly... as if he's afraid tt the mic will drop... haha... topic is abt energy in the 21st century... den on to guitar... hooray!!! the j1s finally can complete the entire song on time... so auditions for them will be on nxt wed... haha... n i hav instructions to be very lenient wif them... n i noe i will anyway... i cant bear to kick any1 out unless tt person is really hopeless... excited abt tt... haha... :)... but slp is catchin up fast on me... realised tt i really lack slp nowadays... not tt i did tonnes of hmwk n cannot slp... but its kind of like i will always slp arnd 11 plus (which is considered hyper-early) for some pple... but for me... i hav been conditioned to slp at 10pm... n now is my adaptation time... haha... will try hard to... :)

Relaxed...

haha... long time dint blog liao... dint really hav time... plus i tink there's nth much to blog abt anyway... no amazing events, no serious tots... but i tot its juz as well tt i giv pple a brief update on how my life has been since my last entry (tho i cant rmb which day is it lah... :) )
ok... finally started to mug a bit for blk test... sigh... tt's sad... hols shldn't be spent this way... but no choice... no bio S hmwk this wk... so its a bit more relaxed... more time to chiong for blk test... oh... recently im readin this sword-fightin novel... dun really understand y i will read it... cos not much time liao... but the story's really nice... if u r interested... can come ask me abt it... haha... hmm... cca... well... today... we finally had the banner design for the concert out... wanted to go to the general office in the morn to get Mr Seow the dean to approve it... only to realise tt he's away on a course n will only be back on 13 Mar!!! wad the... tt means we only hav like 1 wk to bia the banner... God bless us man... :(... oooh... n must commend Set for this... he treated all of us to one bar of Merci choc each to celebrate him becomin the official 13!!!... haha... thx a lot!!!
sigh... i suddenly feel like im backslidin... into wad i dun noe... but there's juz this feelin tt im much more indifferent to a lot of stuff which i will use to be concerned abt... n i've recently noticed tt i like to poke fun at pple more n more... smtimes mayb i may hav even hurt the person... ba... bad character change... but den... will i be able to change it???... i certainly hope so...