Dun Doubt Urself...

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere. The pessimist sees only the red light. But the truly wise person is color blind.
--Dr. Albert Schweitzer
hmm... was discussing this quote wif lt over msn juz now... my interpretation for it is tt when u set ur mind on smth... dun hesitate to tink abt whether u can do it or not... n i tink smtimes tt's true... the more u ponder and hesitate abt ur ability... the more pressure u place on urself... n the more u cant do the work... so mayb tt can act as a reminder for all of us... :)

CPL HO now...

hmm... graduated frm SISPEC BSLC today... so now im CPL HO CHOON SIANG... :)... it wasn't easy to come this far... overcame many many obstacles, disappointments, tests... which made the chevrons more cherished... but im glad i finished in gd shape... n i finally overcame my greatest fear of SOC... which i passed on the last test!!! yeah!!! :) n frm now till 040606, im on leave... den im reporting to armour training institute on 050606... hope i end up as a tank comd. after 5 more mnths... but for now... i will enjoy my break... :)
for those who cared abt me n my uni course stuff... i hav sorted it out liao... i will appeal... so tt's settled... but on hindsight... pharmacy mite JUZ suit me better... still contemplating now... pray tt God will giv me an answer soon...
ok... since minz said tt i will respond... i shld lah... so here goes:
4 THINGS/PEOPLE THAT/WHO MAKE ME SMILE:
- a simple word of encouragement frm frens or loved ones
- when i realise tt i really appeared damn stupid a second ago
- a gd joke
- XYZ (where XYZ = any1 who considers urself my fren)

4 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART:
- being gentle n caring
- doin smth damn meaningful for me
- being able to tolk to me in depth
- all of the above *best combo* :)

4 THINGS I BELIEVE IN:
- God
- Perseverance overcomes all odds
- True frens will always be beside u no matter wad happens
- Love

4 THINGS IM AFRAID OF:
- Losing my loved ones n frens
- Getting screwed for things not done properly
- Backstabs frm pple
- Pple tinking of me as some1 who is insincere, cos i noe im not

4 THINGS I DO EVERYDAY:
- wake up at least 15 mins b4 fall-in timing to pack my stuff
- sing
- sleep
- try to get to noe others better

4 PPLE WHO SHLD ALSO DO THIS:
- ks
- xav
- yw
- erene

In the midst of rejoicing, i stand...

to complete tt statement... i stand disappointed... congrats to all those who gained entry into their desired course... esp for medicine... hope tt u all will eventually become docs who will serve the community well... smth which i was denied the chance to do so... while others are busy relishin their joy... sad to say tt i dun feel the same at all... when i saw tt i had been accepted into pharmacy... my heart really dropped... at first i cldn't believe it... told soon kueh to help me confirm... when his confirmation came... i knew tt was it... i hav officially joined the ranks of a medicine reject...im some1 who is easily resigned to wad i am given... so as for now... i will try to get over my disappointment whhile i plan my future steps... n for those who care abt me... giv me some time n i will be fine... :)

Shagged...

im feelin very tired now... cos of the defence exercise which i had to dig thruout the nite wif serious lack of slp... n im feelin damn sian now cos im selected to do some wkend sai kang which actually totally screwed up my bk out dis wkend... n i prob cant go church n covenant dis wkend liao... sux... :(... the only advantage is tt i can get to bk out today... apart frm tt... nth much...
got this tag frm minz... quite interestin to play... :)
Instructions: Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head. dont read the questions before you write, and tag 5 pple to do this survey.
1. kaishi
2. minz
3. low low
4. yue siang
5. yan yee
6. irene
7. guan lin
8. serena
9. ping leong
10. yiwen
11. liting
12. erene
13. wei kiat
14. xavier
15. ze jia
16. ying ting
17. nat
18. soon kueh
19. andy
20. daniel

how did u meet 14? (xavier) my sec sch classmate
wad wld u do if u nva met 1? (kaishi) well... i will hav one less very gd buddy... so tt's one confidante less...
wad wld u do if 20 n 9 dated? (daniel n ping leong) oh my gdness... both r guys plus they dun noe each other at all... :s
did u ever like 19? (andy) well... like him as a fren yes... but not the gay type of like... tt's ridiculous... :)
wld 6 n 17 make a gd couple? (irene n nat) frens mayb... but surely not a couple!!!
describe 3. (low low) some1 who is very sincere abt frens... always tryin his best to cheer u up... n a very strong person... :)
do u tink 8 is attractive? (serena) haha... my god-sis... she's a very gentle n nice person too... she's attached anyway... :)
tell me smth abt 7. (guan lin) oh... my er jie... musically inclined... n cares a lot for her frens arnd her... tho smtimes very sensitive n very "xiao mei mei"... :)
do u noe any of 12's family? (erene) haha... nope...
wad is 8's favourite? (serena) hmm... frm wad i can tell... kbox shld be one of her fav hangouts... since i go there wif her quite a number of times... :)
wad wld u do if 11 confesses tt he/she likes u? (liting) haha... quite impossible sia... but i will prob be happy cos some1 likes me... hehe... :)
wad language does 15 speak? (ze jia) english, chinese, n MAYB some dialect... not too sure... :)
who is 9 goin out wif? (ping leong) wif his gf lah... :)
how old is 16 now? (ying ting) 19... same age as me
when was the last time u tolked to 13? (wei kiat) at the previous class outing on vesak day...
who's 2's favourite band/singer? (minz) hmm... sad to say tt im not too sure abt her favourite sia... but i noe she doesn't like quite a number of singers whom i tink r quite ok one... haha... :)
wld u date 4? (yue siang) absolutely out of pt!!! firstly, he's my bro lah... secondly, he's a guy... :s
wld u date 7? (guan lin) haha... not very likely sia...
is 15 single? (ze jia) hmm... dunno leh... but prob attached liao... :)
wad's 10's last name? (yiwen) haha... dis is easy... KOH...
wld u ever be in a serious relationship wif 11? (liting) mayb yes, mayb no... i dunno abt tt... haha...
wad sch does 3 go to? (low low) oh... he's now in BMTC SCH 2... :)
where does 6 live? (irene) somewhere damn close to mount faber n harbourfront n sentosa... haha... telok blangah area ba... she always bragged abt it b4... ;)
wad's ur favourite thing abt 5? (yan yee) haha... she's damn sweet at times but also damn "chili padi" at times also... but most imptly... she's my sis... :)

i tag: soon kueh, jas, xav, yiwen, irene

haha... quite fun sia... but all mentioned above r meant w/o any offence... if u dun agree wif wad i wrote... haha... forget abt this... yup... purely for fun n laughter, peace n joy!!! :)

Bday Coming soon... :)

hmm... its goin to be my bday in 5 days time... tt means i will be abt to celebrate my 19th yr in this world quite soon... i dun noe how pple will rate me... i hope tt i hav helped pple quite a lot along the way... i hope tt i hav been a gd fren to those arnd me... altho some things dint go well for me... i guess it takes pain for every1 to grow... haha... but anyway... spent these few days exapnding my wardrobe a little... my mum n dad bought me a pair of jeans, while my sis n bro got me another pair... den i bot 2 shirts for myself... haha... cos nowadays hav to wear more of collared shirts n t-shirts... den i dun hav too many of tt... haha... so yup... yday had a class dinner wif 04S73ians... the turnout was surprisingly gd... abt 18 out of 26 turned up... had dinner at the thomson prata hse... *for this i hav to apologise... cos there was some miscommunication n i brought u guys to the wrong place actually*... but like wad every1 said... its the company tt matters... the guys as usual tolked all abt army life n the gals talked abt smth else... haha... tink tt will be the situation for quite some time since the guys will all be in army... after tt went on to town to sit down at starbucks n chat... me, low n jas went up to the food court to hav some desserts... haha... den the rest went for movie while me, pow, jus n soon went home first... hope tt the class can cont. to meet up nxt time... so erene, tt's a task for u... haha... :)
now in response to minz's tag:
I AM: feeling tired
I WANT: to hav more time on my hands to spend wif pple... cos i really find it hard to juggle the short time i hav to spend wif my family n frens
I WISH: tt every1 arnd me will be happy n blessed
I HATE: extra hassle in tasks
I MISS: the gd times i used to hav wif my frens
I FEAR: tt smtimes my frenship is not reciprocated
I HEAR: a tv ad
I WONDER: wad will i be 10 yrs down the rd
I REGRET: mishandling some things tt were impt to me
I AM NOT: heartless
I SING: very often... notably in the bathrm n kbox outings
I CRY: very seldomly now... a grwon up boy cannot be a crybaby
I AM NOT ALWAYS: satisfied wif how i did stuff
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: dunno wad to put for this one...
I WRITE: legibly but not-too-pleasant-to-look-at handwriting
I CONFUSE: hardly anything *or so i tink* :)
I NEED: gd frenships... n if best... a lasting r/s *come on lah... im 19 liao rite???* *despo* :)
I SHOULD: put in more effort in maintaining frenships
I START: on things tt i shld do as soon as possible
I FINISH: after making sure tt the task has been done satisfactorily
I LOVE: every1 as far as possible
I REMEMBER: names extremely well... im basically a name database after u input me wif names
dun kill me for this... but i will end my side of the chain here... will not tag any1... yup... :)

Updates...

sorry if i cant come up wif another better title for my entries liao... haha... but i guess the title doesn't really matter much rite??? :) this wk has been really a lot of ups n downs for me... on monday... had live firing... in which i had to prone down in mud... yucks... n feed mosquitoes *im scratchin again now cos its SUPER itchy*... but firing my weapon was fun cos its an auto weapon... haha... tue had 16km route march... less blisters n abrasions this time... wed had chemical defence lessons... n today had a chemical defence practical exercise... it was extremely uncomfortable wearing tt individual protection suit... damn stuffy... n we were put into a chamber wif tear gas... n even made to remove the mask so tt we can hav an experience wif the gas "burnin" our face... n interestingly... the exercise was named:" we make grown man cry"... haha... how true... i cried... :)

Updates...

haha... im typin this entry on my bro's new laptop... this wk has been an extremely shaggin wk for me... cos of the field camp at tekong... frm tue to fri... it started off wif a navigation exercise arnd the WHOLE tekong island... n my grp wasted soooo much time finding our first checkpt cos they shifted the checkpt to another location w/o informin us!!! n we walked n walked... thru-out the whole field camp... i tink i walked more than 20km... n now im havin serious abrasions n blisters... will be walkin like a penguin... :(... den followin tt we had our individual assessments... cheong-sua again up n down 5 or 6 times... n one more thing is the serious lack of slp... sigh... im feelin sleepy now... will update more nxt time ba...