Escapism...

i realise tt i hav been tryin to escape frm certain issues... somehow i jus dun want to face them rite now... or rather... mayb i dun wish to face it at all... cos somehow facing it always hurts... one if it is abt my uni course... yday nite my parents pressured me again to make a decision... but somehow i get so pissed off abt it tt i was abt to shout: "u all choose for me lah!!! i dun want to tink abt it anymore!"... nva once in my life hav i ever been so nonchalant abt my future... but up till now i still dun understand y... mayb somehow a crushed dream hurts damn deep... i dun noe... :(
this wk is my blk leave... but apparently there's nth much for me to do except stay at home n waste time... cos every1 is busy... uni pple r preparin for exams... n other pple r also busy wif some other stuff... so i guess i cant meet up wif many pple ba... somehow i start to miss my frens outside army... n i realise its been a superb long time since i last had a gd tolk wif any1... the selfish side of me smtimes really wishes tt they will hav more time to spare so tt i can occupy some of their time... but i noe tt its impossible... it doesn't mean tt when im free they will hav to be free... guess its the wrong time for me to hav leave ba... sigh... :(