A glimmer of hope, A bundle of depression...

hmm... had guitar pract today... 1st time after abt 2 wks tt i had combined wif the J2s... n i must say tt i was quite pleased to c tt the J2s had improved... n today's session showed tt we can actually play the song quite well... at least the melody was more clear now... n co-ordination was definitely much better than previous times... haha... but one thing abt me is tt i deproved a lot... i realised tt... haha... but i will practice harder... n finally i c a bit of hope for clinchin the coveted Gold award at SYF... if we build up at this rate... n every1 doesn't screw up on tt day... haha... we will surely be an excellent team... :)...
rushed home to a whole pile of hmwk... n shocked to hear tt there's hmwk for GP as well... sigh... Bio S, Chem S, chem, maths, physics, bio, GP... die... smtimes i really wonder if i over-estimated myself... ba... plus church stuff... i tink im goin to become a work maniac soon... totally void of my own personal time for tinkin... goin home everyday juz to mug n mug n mug... some pple claim tt i enjoy muggin... *take note: its PPLE claim, not me...*... but the matter of fact is... i dun, ok???... the motivation is seriously lost now... n im very scared tt the ever-feared cycle will repeat for me... one yr gd results, the nxt yr rotten results... pray hard tt it wont come true... really... i wont want to put my future at stake... sigh...
i wonder if im really changin... i smtimes suspect tt my character is changin once again... tt tactfulness in me seems to hav disappeared... n frens arnd me r different... i can't tolk to some pple like i used to in the past... or mayb its becos we hav run out of topics... okok... i had better stop lamentin or else i will really turn depressed, n my mood will start to swing again... it did a few days ago... n i suddenly put on a long face... walked to maths lect on my own... daoed every1... took quite a while b4 i recovered... n i seriously dint noe wad i was angry or fumin abt... haha... weird me... :)