Forgive n Forget???

forgive n forget... to me... its totally a different issue altogether... or mayb its the same... i dun noe... but the feelin tt once i was very confident of forgivin any1 tt offends me is now totally shattered... i dread, hate and absolutely dislike makin enemies... but smtimes... one side of me always prompts me to go into the "cold war" era... den i will nva tolk to u for as long as tt feelin remains... its a very big struggle for me to even attempt to start a conversation wif u... esp after how u maligned me... tho i understand tt u were also feelin quite confused at tt time... im glad to c u back... but for the time being... i guess i nd some time to get over it n re-start a conversation... but one thing to noe is tt things will nva be the same anymore... im sorry... but i guess tt will be the case...
sigh... im feelin so damn bored now... i really hate this feelin... m i so lousy tt i cant even find smth meaningful to do apart frm readin blogs??? *im not sayin tt readin blogs is not meaningful... but den... is there any other thing tt i can do???* ... im startin to lose interest in quite a lot of stuff... sadz...
suddenly realise tt im in quite a trouble... my active social circle is gettin smaller n smaller... mayb tt's a sign tt i hav been too involved wif cliques... *oh... tt word again*... i find tt i seriously cannot have in-depth conversations wif pple whom i once cld hav... when they tolk... i shut up... when i tolk... they ignore... given this situation... its better for me to shut up... or at the very most... giv a bit of a smile so tt pple wun tink tt u r some stupid anti-social fellow... or mayb in a chat rm... juz giv some "haha" occasionally even tho there is simply nth to laugh abt... is tt all i can do now???... once i pointed out tt some pple cannot survive outside their clique grps... n the ironic thing is tt now i tink the one being accused shld be me... or mayb my dad was rite... i really hav low EQ... wad's the use even if i can get straight A's for everythin???... :(